it’s official!!

my visa is ready to go! neil is mailing it to me after memorial day!
i got my official NBN approval letter today.
i got my flight confirmation letter today.
holy crap, this is for reals.
july 6 i fly out.
july 15 i start ulpan etzion.
oh wait, i guess that’s the one thing that is still only unofficial…..neil says i’m approved for ulpan etzion, but there is still one or two things i need to do for that. namely, give them money.
i’m so excited, but i absolutely must go to sleep now.

what if there aren’t any bathrooms in Jerusalem?

Over the past year, I’ve come up with some pretty good things to worry about:
Is moving to the desert in July a good idea?
What if I have some mental deficiency that keeps me from learning Hebrew?
What if someone dies during the brief period of time between getting there and when my official citizenship papers come in?
What if no one at ulpan likes me?

Here’s the latest worry.
And I think maybe the most valid.
How do I bridge the gap between my somewhat conservative views of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with my super left-wing politics.
I’m all for the socialist aspects of Israeli government. I don’t think citizens can be trusted to take care of the nation. (most politicians can’t be trusted either, but….)
I am so confused about the conflict.
I think Israel looks weaker each time they make another concession to the Palestinians.
I think Israel needs to stand up for what is legally hers and just like with any other country, that includes what you win in a war.
I don’t think the terrorist groups will ever allow a real peace. I think they will stop at nothing to destroy the Jewish state unless Israel stops them first.
I also think that Israel needs to make more room for the non-terrorist Arabs.
I think most Muslims simply want to live in peace.
I wish the children in Sderot didn’t have to go to school in bomb shelters, but I also wish the children in Gaza could get proper medical attention.
I voted and volunteered for Barack Obama. I thought he was the best for the United States. I know that the main power of a US president is on the international front and even though I think we have very different ideas for what a Middle East peace will look like, I think he will actively pursue something.
I am nervous though.
But that’s sort of an aside.
What if I get to Israel and I can’t justify these two sides of my life?
I know I want to volunteer in humanitarian aid. How will that impact my opinions?
I don’t want my idealism to be crushed.
I worry what will happen to my faith.
I’m not really worried about the cultural differences right now. I think I will appreciate them. I’m not worried about meeting people-I’m pretty good at that. I’m not even worried about learning the language!
I guess I just have to wait and see.

blog reading

i just read a couple other blogs on wordpress…..and they were SOOOO boring.
one person even talked about how boring their life was. if it’s that boring to you, why would you think we want to read about it?
but then this all led to some serious self-doubt.
what if i’m boring?
what if my blog is boring?
my whole existence is called into question.
okay, maybe not, but i will definitely give my very best effort to keep this blog more interesting from here on out.
maybe i will start including pictures of cute animals.  like this guy….

hurry, hurry, now wait…..

My passport is with Neil, the JA shaliach as my visa is being finalized. It’s a good thing no one has ever taken a restraining order out against me…that was one of the forms I had to fill out for the visa!
JA says I’m approved for Ulpan Etzion and that the July 6 flight should be fine, but NBN doesn’t seem to be making any decisions. I am still wary about the JA/NBN merge.
I still haven’t found anyone to take Luna while I’m in ulpan, but my friend Jess has offered to take her if no one else steps up to the plate…..Jess must be part Israeli-only an Israeli would offer to take in a cat to add to her own 3 cats after having not seen the owner in 6 years.
Further proof that Jess is Israeli- after high school we lost touch (mainly due to my adolescent naivete) and the last time we saw or spoke was 6 years ago. And yet, she practically insisted I stay with her while in Boston to collect my dad’s things. And that’s not even the half of it- she schlepped me out to his apartment, helped me more than she can ever imagine practically and emotionally. I’m grateful to reconnect with her before I leave though it makes me sad that it is so close to my leaving.
All the boxing up we did from Dad’s really drove home how much packing I have to do here. Yikes. I don’t even know where to begin. Thankfully, after Memorial Day I’ll be home for a couple solid weeks!!
I still don’t know when I’ll be able to schedule a yard sale to get rid of all the stuff that I’m NOT packing.
Can I just go crawl under the covers now???